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Cookies for Satan

by Coffin Jockeys

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Fuzzy Cracklins (The Swamp Records)
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1.
Cranburied 02:20
lyrics
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Spent Thanksgiving alone Just me and my meal at home Sat down for a bite And had quite a fright The turkey, the mashed potatoes The brown bread They want my head They want me dead The stuffing, the carrot casserole The gravy, this is so crazy They’re after me They want me mashed They want me stuffed They want me baked They want me CRANBURIED! They’re after me They’re chasing me They want me cranburied I jumped from the table And started to run But tripped and fell over the dinner bun I bumped my head and Felt instant dread All went black and my meal attacked! I’M GETTING MASHED I’M GETTING STUFFED I’M GETTING BAKED I’M CRANBURRRRIIIIIEEEEEEEED!
2.
Vegan Zombie 02:57
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I don’t like human flesh, no It makes me feel so sad I prefer vegetables My friends, they tease me really bad (He’s a vegan zombie) I’m a vegan zombie (He’s a vegan zombie) I’m a vegan zombie (He’s a vegan zombie) I’m a vegan zombie (He’s a vegan, ooooo waaah ooooo!) I met some real nice humans Named Lester and Patrice They treat me pretty well, yeah Because I don’t try to eat them (He’s a vegan zombie) I’m a vegan zombie (He’s a vegan zombie) I’m a vegan zombie (He’s a vegan zombie) I’m a vegan zombie (He’s a vegan, ooooo waaah ooooo!) Now things they became dire The world was short on food Lester and Patrice said “Going hungry is not good” So Lester and Patrice they Dusted off their axe And chopped off all my limbs and With my body broke their fast (He’s a vegan zombie) I’m a vegan zombie (He’s a vegan zombie) A no-limb zombie (He’s a vegan zombie) Been-eaten-by-friends zombie (He’s a vegan, ooooo waaah ooooo!) (He’s a vegan zombie) I’m a vegan zombie (He’s a vegan zombie) A no-limb zombie (He’s a vegan zombie) Been-eaten-by-friends zombie (He’s a vegan, ooooo waaah ooooo!)
3.
We Wish You A Scary Christmas 02:15
lyrics
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“Drewthy, it’s my favorite time of the year.” “You mean Christmas” “Indeed I do, Drewthy, and I’d like to be the first to wish you a very scary Christmas.” “And a very scary Christmas to you, too.” We wish you a scary Christmas We wish you a scary Christmas We wish you a scary Christmas And a creepy New Year Good hauntings we bring To you and your kin We wish you a scary Christmas And a creepy New Year Oh, bring us some rotten Zombie Oh, bring us some rotten Zombie Oh, bring us some rotten Zombie Bring it right here We won’t go until we get some We won’t go until we get some We won’t go until we get some So bring it right here We all like our rotten zombie We all like our rotten zombie We all like our rotten zombie With all it’s good cheer Good hauntings we bring To you and your kin We wish you a scary Christmas And a creepy New Year We wish You Wish You We wish you a scary Christmas And a creepy New Year!
4.
Cookies for Satan 03:45
lyrics
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Christmas Eve Night The kiddos wait for man in red and white Who’s that in the chimney? No beard? No boots? Just horns and hooves Why, that’s not Santa That’s … Satan? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah This year it’s cookies for Satan Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Cookies for Satan The king of the bottomless pit This year he ain’t bringing you sh-- It’s nothing for you, just cookies for him The devil arose from his tomb Up to your family room Have his cookies out or You’ll be doomed Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah This year it’s cookies for Satan Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Cookies for Satan Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Cooookkkiiieeeeees!!! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Cookies for ol’ Beelzebub Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah This yeeeeeaaaaaar it’s cookies! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Cookiieeees for Satan Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah This year, it’s cookes for Satan! Satan! Satan! Satan! Satan! Cookies … for Satan!

about

To: Earth
From: Hell

Ghouls and goulettes, creeps and creepsters, the living and the dead! It is with the greatest of joy that we, the Coffin Jockeys, present to you our jolly and slightly demented helliday EP, “Cookies for Satan”!

“Cookies for Satan” consists of four haunted and festive holiday tunes. “Cranburied,” the opening track, is a tale of what happens when food fights back. Onto “Vegan Zombie,” where we hear the story of how good intentions turn into a disgustingly delightful feast. “We Wish You A Scary Christmas” is a spooky take on a holiday classic. And the title track, “Cookies for Satan,” is, well, how do we put this ... a misunderstanding of epic proportions.

So sit back, relax and enjoy this wonderful holiday macabre.

From our dead hearts to yours, we wish you a scary Christmas, and a creepy New Year. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Jimmy Mischief and Drewthy Spooknanigans.

credits

released December 8, 2020

“Cranburied”
Lyrics and vocals by Jim Miller.
Music and instruments by Andrew Schwartzenberger.

“Vegan Zombie”
Lyrics, vocals, music and instruments by Andrew Schwartzenberger.

“We Wish You A Scary Christmas”
Written by Arthur Warrell
Lyrics creepified by Jim Miller
Instruments by Andrew Schwartzenberger

“Cookies for Satan”
Lyrics and vocals by Jim Miller.
Music, instruments and additional vocals by Andrew Schwartzenberger.

All songs recorded at Ironside Studios by Andrew Schwartzenberger and Jim Miller.
Mixed and mastered by Chris Wood at Boston Studios Green Room.

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Coffin Jockeys Detroit, Michigan

Detroit Michigan-based Halloween rock.

Coffin Jockeys are: Jim Miller and Andrew Schwartzenberger.

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